Parenting can be over whelming both in a positive and negative way. If you are a new parent you might be struggling with understanding your child's behaviour and various moods. We understand that it can all get very frustrating and the best solution seems to be yelling at your child. But we have better solutions for you. This guide will help you understand how you can make parenthood a joyful journey and have a beautiful relationship with your child at the same time.
There is no simple way to state the rules of parenting. However, there are certain ways to help you understand parenting better.
There are two main components of parenting styles. One is responsiveness or how much independence you are willing to grant. The other is demandingness or how much strict obedience you require.
Mentioned below are a few parenting types:
This parenting style is characterised by high behaviour control and low parental responsiveness. This type of parenting encourages suppression of emotion while at the same time the parent is aggressive. The focus is on rules and there is hardly any parent child discussion.
This parenting style is characterised by high behaviour control and high parental responsiveness. Authoritative parents have a relatively open and flexible mind. They also impose rules but the rules make logical sense. Here, the parents are warm, responsive and strive to meet the child's physical as well as emotional needs.
It is also sometimes called Indulgent parenting. It is characterised by low behaviour control and high parental responsiveness. This type of parenting encourages free development and independent thinking. The parents are warm towards the child and do not practice very strict control techniques.
Also known as Neglectful Parenting, there is low behaviour control and low parental responsiveness in this type of parenting. Here, the parents usually meet the physical needs of the child but are emotionally uninvolved in the child's life. The parent and the child are distant and disengaged from each other.
Now that we have taken a look at the types, it is clear that for a healthy child and parent relationship there must be a balance on how much control you have over the child and how much you expect from them in return.
We all know that children usually cannot express what they want (which is mostly attention) and end up behaving oddly or throwing tantrums. As parents, we have to understand their behaviour. Here are some Positive Parenting Techniques:
Yes. We know, its not a cake walk. So, here are some small tips to keep in mind:
We believe that when you become a parent, its not just the child that grows, you grow with the child too. Happy Parenting!
It’s a Wednesday morning and you drag yourself out of bed after snoozing your alarm for the 20th time. You know you're running late for work so you rush and make it just in time for the morning meeting. After the meeting, your boss gives you another 5 files to work on and expects you to turn them in by the end of the day. You sink into your chair thinking about how you would rather be on a beach or a hill station enjoying a holiday. You start to feel jittery because of all the work and gulp down 3 cups of coffee to calm your nerves. Most of the times you feel low. The football match which you used to enjoy before, watching it for straight 90 minutes is a task. When you joint the workplace you were the most energetic person around, but now you struggle just to complete your work. With this comes guilt, regret, negative view of future, disturbed sleep and appetite.
If you relate to this story, chances are that you are not happy with your work life. If these symptoms are a daily occurrence, you might be suffering from workplace depression.
Workplace depression has become an area of increasing concern over the past few years. It affects a person's thoughts, feelings, abilities and behaviour. It not only decreases the happiness and productivity of the employee but also of the whole team. Many companies incur huge losses in absenteeism and lack of interest towards the work by their employees.
The general problem is that many people do not know that they are suffering from depression, and even if they see the symptoms in themselves, they try to hide it from other co-workers or employers. This is due to the stigma around mental illnesses, the fear of losing their jobs and financial instability.
If you see your employees or co-workers demonstrate the following signs, they could be suffering from depression or other mental illnesses.
If you notice them taking too many sick days and they refuse to tell you the issue even in confidence, they might be suffering from depression. Sometimes common cold, flu and stomach aches are also symptoms of stress.
Depression is usually accompanied by loss of motivation. If your employee or co-worker looks less enthusiastic than usual, they might need help.
People suffering from depression often develop a change in social behaviour. Those who are sociable withdraw themselves from friends and colleagues.
Memory loss or lack of interest can be a sign of depression. If your colleague is failing to accomplish assigned duties on time, he could be showing signs of depression.
Lethargy is one of the symptoms of depression. Notice if your co-worker is looking more tired than before with circles under their eyes and if they are yawning excessively at work.
Under these circumstances, it is important to create a happy workplace. A workplace should be such in which the employees find the opportunity to socialise, a sense of accomplishment and a source of happiness.
Depression and other mental illnesses can be treated. It is not something that you should hide or be afraid about. Seek help and offer help to anyone you think might need it.
Stress has both physical and psychological symptoms. Physical symptoms fatigability, headache, gastrointestinal disorders, stomach upset, constipation, tense muscles, insomnia, frequent infections etc. Psychological symptoms range from increased irritation, frustration, burnouts, anxiety, and low mood, loss of concentration and memory, mood swings, repetitive compulsive behaviour.
Life demands both external and internal which stains the individual can produce physical or psychological stress. Life situations like work pressure, family issues, financial troubles, poor physical health can produce stress. At the same time, internal situations like pessimism, rigidity, guilt or regret, perceived competition can lead to stress.
Some life style changes in collaboration with psychotherapy can go a long way to manage stress in day to day activities. Seeking professional help is a good first step in managing your stress instead of trying to do it on your own.
In some cases, where the work place is the major cause of stress in individual’s life, your professional may coach you through a career switch but the decision solely lies with the patient.
To begin with, there is no clear definition of Internet Addiction. However, if we were to generally describe it - it is a behavioural addiction in which a person becomes heavily dependent on the use of internet, or other online devices as a maladaptive way of dealing with life's stresses.
It is also sometimes called - Computer Addiction, Problematic Internet Use (PIU) or Compulsive Internet Use.
The internet is a great place with lots of information and scope to learn. It is also crucial in today's world for students, teachers, parents and office goers. But just because you use the internet for watching videos online, for shopping or checking social media, it does mean you are suffering from Internet Addiction Disorder. The problem comes when these activities start to interfere with your daily life. An Internet Addict will have problems filling personal and professional obligations because of their online activities. It can cause a strain on their relationship with their family and friends.
Internet Addiction is not formally recognised as an addictive disorder, so it can be difficult to diagnose. However, you can find out if a person is suffering from Internet Addiction Disorder if you see these symptoms.
There are 5 types of internet addiction that can affect you based on your age, interest and peer pressure.
Mostly people who are either too burdened with their work or are bored experience this.
Recently retired persons who are looking for "thrill" may experience this.
The younger generation because of peer-pressure or to create their own image experience this.
This again affects the younger generation.
This affects all age groups alike. Sometimes, we get carried away with all the information online and lose track of time which can negatively affect us.
Like any other problem, the first step is to recognise the problem. If you do not believe that there is a problem, you will never seek a solution. There has to be insight about the problem, and a willingness to change.
Since this is the internet we are talking about, the opinion is always divided between how much usage is too much usage and whether or not a treatment is even required. Some people even believe it to be a "fad illness" which can resolve itself. But when it comes to children, this approach hardly ever works unless we put some corrective measures in place.
If you recognise the symptoms of Internet Addiction in yourself or your dear ones, reach out for professional help. Internet Addiction can have devastating effects on individuals, families and particularly teens and growing children. Getting help may greatly change the quality of life.
There is no right or wrong time in seeking help from a therapist but the sooner the better it is. Some people seek therapy only when things have gone out of their hand, when the pain and hurt is too much and mostly when they have already lost all the hope in a relationship. They seek therapy as the last resort. It is wiser to seek therapy when you recognise repetitive negative patterns in your relation. In spite of your and your partner’s best effort, when you are not able to reach a solution or goal which you set in the relation, one must seek professional guidance from a therapist.
This is true most of the times that one partner is very eager to take therapy while the other wants to avoid it. An open and positive communication between the partners can help solve this conflict. Instead of blaming everything on the on the other partner the responsibility of the problem should be shared. (“You are responsible for our troubles……” “I know we both have done some mistakes but they can be resolved if we make an effort”). If the partner is communicated of a positive future, hope for a better life, with the help of a third professional perspective then the conflict can be resolved. It is of vital importance once both partners have agreed for therapy, they mutually decide on a therapist.
In marriage counselling the job of the counsellor is to facilitate a smoother conversation between the partners. The counsellor works as a mediator and addresses the current issues which the couple is facing. He focuses more on the “how” aspect of issue. The counsellor and couple can mutually decide on some rules which will result in facilitating communication and understanding between the partners. Whereas, couple/marriage therapy is conducted by a licensed professional, where he focuses on the “why” of the issue. He goes till the roots of the problem, discusses early childhood, parenting, mental health, personality of both the partners and figures out from where the difficulty is arising which effects the other partner. Instead of a random approach, therapist in couple therapy have a very organised treatment plan. After taking the entire case history an objective is set and then mutually a treatment plan is decided on which will help change particular behaviours there after improving the relation.
There are few questions you can ask for example: do you feel comfortable and safe with the therapist? Do you feel your therapist understand you well? Do you feel your therapist is unbiased and handles everything professionally? Has the therapy so far been helpful for your relationship? Can you trust your therapist with all the details of your marriage or relation?
Stress is the strain or pressure while can be both psychological and physical which a person goes through when he is in challenging or dangerous situation Stress is body’s reaction to a trigger and is generally a short-term experience. Positive stress is called eustress e.g.: when a father is stressed due to preparation of daughter’s marriage, when you finish your project last minute, and negative stress is called distress which happens when we perceive some threat to us and it leads to insomnia, poor concentration, poor memory etc.
On the other hand, anxiety is a sustained mental health condition which can be triggered due to stress and it doesn’t fade away once the situation has changed.
There are different types of disorders that can occur due to prolonged distress and anxiety and in some cases depression also coexist. The different types of anxiety disorders being:
Initially a family doctor or general physician can help you in identifying if you are suffering from any kind of anxiety disorder. If the diagnosis is done properly then he can refer you to a clinical psychologist. The clinical psychologist can administer some psychological tests to check the severity of anxiety and understand the entire case history. After that a proper treatment plan would be discussed between the professional and patient. If anxiety is severe he can further refer you to a psychiatrist to give medications. A collaborative treatment plan of medicines and psychotherapy gives the best results.
Yes, according to the case history and symptoms a proper treatment plan is made. There are a variety of therapies which a professional gives depending upon the diagnosis. For example to treat phobic anxiety disorder the therapist may choose systematic desensitisation plus muscle relation techniques can be used, for OCD a combination of ERP and CBT is the first line treatment, For PTSD eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing + CBT May be used, dissociative disorders are best treated by self-hypnosis and interpersonal therapy. Kindly seek a licensed professional only to get help instead of seeing videos online and administering the therapies on yourself or with someone who isn’t a professional.
“Depression”, the word we use so causally now a days. We use the word even when we are having a bad day to when we feel absolutely hopeless, worthless and helpless. It’s very hard to point out the specific day and time when depression started. It slowly starts growing on the person and takes him or her in its grip. We tend to ignore all the small changes and signs, naming it “mood swing” or “stress” and then comes the day when we finally cannot ignore it anymore.
Clinically the primary symptoms of depression are low mood, increased fatigability and loss of interest in pleasurable activities. And the secondary symptoms comprise of sleep disturbances, loss of appetite, excessive guilt and other negative emotions, pessimistic view of future, loss of concentration and attention, increased anger, irritation and frustration. Everything seems to be too hard. All the things that one enjoyed doing previously, doesn’t feel like doing anymore. They even wonder that how they were so energetic before, how they used to be so happy before. They feel they can never be happy as sadness or the low mood has become the insuperable part of their life, even if everything is going on good around them still they don’t feel good or happy about it.
Sleep looks like the best solution for all the problems. That’s why it’s so hard for them to leave their beds in the morning. It’s difficult to make people understand about what they are going through as their friends and family members would always suggest them to change their lifestyle, or go and meet new people, divert their minds and so on. But all these tasks no matter how small they are from cutting vegetable or washing the car to see a face to face counsellor near me (you), seems to be so huge, that it looks like mount Everest to conquer.
Depression initially is a reaction. A reaction to stress, which one is not able to cope up with. A reaction to changes where one is not able to adjust. Reaction to culture shock, or a change of place people and environment. Depression is when person is not able to take more of what life has to offer anymore. It is anger to some injustice which he or she or someone close to them might had to face. It also might be some regret or a grudge which one has been holding since long. It can also be a reaction to a situation where one didn’t get a proper closure, in a break up, or death of a loved one. It can be a reaction towards rejection and biasness. These are only a few situations which was on the top of my head, depression is all of this and much more. We never know when it slowly starts to grow on us.
If you are able to relate to any or most of the situations, the first and the most crucial thing is to realise and accept that its okay to have depression and do not to get depressed about depression. It’s okay not to feel okay. Don’t judge yourself, or try to push yourself too much.
Secondly, give yourself time. Just the way it slowly grew on you, it will take time to slowly disappear too. There won’t be a fine morning when you will start feeling better automatically (even though there are days when you actually feel better for some time), but you need to make small efforts if you really want to get out of it. Just because a better and happier future doesn’t seem possible to you, don’t stop making small little efforts to make it alright, because take it from me it is possible.
Thirdly, no matter how hard it sounds, but seek help and it’s absolutely okay to seek help. No! You are not weak. Confine in someone whom you trust, a family member, a friend, or even your doctor or psychotherapist. Talk to them and let them help you. It might sound very tiring, to narrate your entire story to someone new or to a stranger, but imagine about the happy and beautiful life which is waiting for you.
No matter how hopeless you feel right now, but as long as there is life, there is hope. Lots of people have in the past and is still going through depression. But because of their small efforts and with the help of a professional they have been able to cross the dark tunnel. If you feel that you need help, and if these words were able to encourage you even 1%, take your phone and search depression counselling in Kolkata (or any other part of world) now!
Hope you feel better soon…
Eating disorders are just not a lifestyle choice or phase. They are mental disorders which affect people physically and psychologically, and if become severe may also lead to death. It’s vital for us to first have complete information about eating disorders so that we get better ingest and take initiative towards dealing with it. It’s seen that eating disorders are more common amongst women than in men and in adolescents.
First and foremost is not to listen to your brain which tells you that you would be happy only if you lose weight instead you should try to listen to what your body is saying to you and meet its demands. First and foremost it is vital to have intellectual and emotional insight about the problem. To get the understanding that weight has nothing to do with confidence, self-esteem, and happiness. Self-love is what is required. And self-acceptance is of utmost importance.
Seek help from someone in your environment. Someone who would understand your feelings and not judge you. This step might be hard for the patients to take but remind yourself that is is a very important step towards recovery. The person in whom you can confide could be your mother father, friend, school counsellor, or a po=rod=fissional clinical psychologist. One the patient is able to confine in someone, they should explain the entire problem patiently to the person as they might not be able to able to relate to the problem instantly. They might also have their own emotional reaction and lack of information. Once they are able to digest the problem, the patient should be specific about the kind of help he is looking for from the confidant.
When we talk of treating eating disorders, there are many aspects we need to convert starting from medical consequences, malnutrition and emotional consequences. It is important to have a team who are expert in each field and can take care in the best way. A team of physicians, nutritionist and clinical psychologist collaborating together may work best in treating eating disorders. First priority should be given to all the health related issues. All the physical problems which the person might be going through due to purging, binge eating, overweight, and pica should be addressed first.
Once all the psychical symptoms or issues related to physical health is taken care of, a long term recovery plan can be decided mutually with other team. There are different forms of therapy which will help the patient to reach to the root cause of their disorder, improve self-esteem, and teach healthy ways to cope with stress and emotional pain. Family interventions are also a part of the therapy process where family members can also get an insight about the problem and collaborate work with the therapist and help the patient recover from eating disorder. Family therapy may also help them develop better relationships amongst family members which can be therapeutic element in the recovery process. Furing therapy the patient will learn how to deal with stress and other pressing situations effectively. Also they will learn to develop balanced relationship with food so that, patient can let go of rigid eating rules, choose proper and balanced meal, stick to regular eating patterns and learn to listen to bodily needs by not pushing the body to do anything in extreme. Very initial role of the therapist is to help patients gain back their confidence and self-worth. Help them to accept themselves the way they are. Last but not the least therapy would also help the patient to manage relapse by developing solid support system helping the patient and the family identify the triggers which may lead to relapse and keep sticking to the action plan.
With the help of dietician patient can learn how to develop healthy eating behaviors in their everyday life over a period of time. They teach the patient to develop healthier relationship with food.
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